Millions Of People Hate Christmas. Here Are 5 Questions You Can Use At The Dinner Table To Have A More Meaningful Christmas Holiday.
1 in 5 people hate Christmas, and it has nothing to do with their religion. In fact, you can consider yourself normal, as millions of people around the world are experiencing the holiday dread as the ‘Special Day’ approaches. Christmas and Easter scores high on the list of triggers for social anxiety and it is all down to the fact that that we are more than ever being pushed to pretend.
It is normal to feel a lack of joy when you can’t express yourself, and you have to watch every word you say or take part in activities that make you uncomfortable. We all have to master the art of pretending in our lives like at work, business and some friendships. However, Christmas takes this to another level and turns most of us into emotional ticking bombs.
The general social belief is that Christmas is a magical time full of joy, giving and spending time with your loved ones. Christmas is all those things, however, to unlock its true potential you would have to be honest about who you like and not like in your immediate and extended family and then spend this time of the year only with those people. Period.
This is an inspirational thought, however one that is very difficult to implement in real life. Honestly very few of us would have the balls to unleash the full power of family politics upon ourselves and survive the hell of it in time to end up having a good time over Christmas and continue our family life as usual. As in the horrible aunt who makes you feel weird about your job or your dad who makes you feel like a total loser would find it hard to accept this or allow you to get on with your Christmas on your terms, let alone your life. This time of the year instructs us to open our home not only to our immediate family: parents, siblings, kids and grandparents but also to those outside of this circle and this is where things get really FUNKY. Too scared to ruin Christmas, ironically, to those who offend us and makes us feel bad about ourselves we put a brave face on, play down our emotional needs and give in into this family politics mascaraed.
This forces us to pretend to be OK to spend our time with people who we don’t like; pretending we want to consume the amounts of alcohol that is pushed upon us or the type of food that has been prepared; pretending that we are comfortable (financially or morally) with spending our cash on presents; pretending we love or need those meaningless gifts they have given us. All this pretending and emotional restraint on your part, which becomes harder with every vine glass you down to keep in check either makes you a hero of the day who did not fuck up Christmas or the twat who killed the Christmas magic.
Frankly, I don’t support any form of emotional bullying, and I think it should be nipped in the bud no matter the occasion. In fact especially if it is coming from those closest to us because being disrespected and hurt by those who we hold dear to us does far more significant damage to our mental state and in turn to our lives. These are two key steps you need to take to have a healthier emotional life.
- Learn to see your family members as you see all other people who come to your life. You can achieve this by removing the belief that you are supposed to put up with their crap because of your shared DNA. We don’t live in clans where our survival is directly linked to fitting into that small group. We don’t need to comply with all the rules set by it to survive or make it. The world has changed, we deserve, and it is possible to build our own network of people to fit our needs.
- After you have applied the same emotional vetting rules to your family members, you can then instil boundaries. For most of us, setting expectations and boundaries is super hard, but you have to learn how to do it. Your emotional and financial wellbeing rests entirely on your ability to manage your relationships, internal and external.
Most of us can’t just drop a bomb on Christmas and start pulling weeds out of our gardens, so maybe the above project can be taken on as a New Year resolution to have a more stress-free Christmas next year. This, however, does not mean that you can’t improve your Christmas this year.😊
To feel good and happy people need to feel connected so kill those empty dinner table conversation about nothing and start a new dinner trend by using the below 5 questions to get people to open up and connect to you.
- What are three things you are the most grateful for?
- What is your biggest fear?
- What is your guilty pleasure?
- If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
- What is the one thing you most want people to remember about you?
Everyone deserves a magical Christmas, not only the kids. You can achieve a much higher satisfaction rate by holding meaningful conversations at the table with those close to you. I bet you don’t know your family members as well as you think you do so take this special time to get to know them better.
Happy Holidays Everyone!